Sometimes...I hate thinking.

Deep in thought today. Woke up late cause I went to bed super late (I just HAD to watch SAW) I didn't get to sleep until like...i don't know 2 a.m.? So not like me. So i attempted to climb out of bed into a full day of no accomplishment. When Im not busy doing something, I start to think. This can be good...but in this case it was bad. Unfortunately I found myself thinking nothing but negative. I feel trapped here sometimes. With my inability to drive at the moment, I have no where to go unless my Grandparents go somewhere, then I end up tagging along for a "thrill" when mainly its just grocery shopping. Sometimes, like today, I think "When is my life going to start? When will I have some responsibility and actually feel like i'm an adult?" I need this job, I feel like if I don't get it i'm back where I started. I have a loving boyfriend in my life, but for now I don't get to see him. I have many amazing friends, but getting out here is hard for them as well. I need to take action and get going. I feel like i'm in a race. Life shouldn't be a race, but today I feel like it is. I always try to live by "taking life slowly and enjoying the ride..." but how can I enjoy the ride when Im not on one? Its like this...Im waiting in the longest most boring line at cedar point, one so long I cant even see the end, and I want to ride the ride so badly. 
I guess I discovered something new today, I am NOT the type that can sit around the house doing next to nothing and enjoy it. Im the type whose dream is to get out there and go. Right now I cant, but maybe tuesday will be the end of that line, and I can finally sit down and enjoy the ride. :)

Gabs

Jitter Bugs

An answer to prayer has arrived, I have a job interview! Woo to the Hoo! This is excellent news of course. This whole time I have felt like my life wasn't going to start until I got a job and was making money for myself, thats why i'm really pulling for this job to go through. When I spoke on the phone to the dude, he was all like "Hey, so what are you interested in?" and asked me multiple questions, and I responded very openly, trying to give him an idea that I would work whenever and do whatever. Im that desperate. Don't giggle though, because when Im "rolling in the dough" you can SHOVE IT. 
Thats not my point...my point is, i suddenly realized how nervous I am! Im pretty confidant that if I give them a lot to work with, and I arrive at the interview with my bubbly, outgoing self instead of my shy side, I can land this job! Im just nervous because between me and the world of blogger....THIS WOULD BE MY FIRST PAYING JOB. Also, I have NEVER worked a cash register...also i'm really quite terrible at math and making change. So, you see where my worry comes from? Yesh. Well it wont stop me, I have to go in there with my head up and just be as confidant as I can. They have no reason NOT to hire me...if they called me for an interview they MUST need me...and it will help that i'm not enrolled in school and i'm quite flexible. This is it!


Pharmacy Interview: Tuesday Feb. 1st at 2:00 PM 

Photograph by Nuno Benavente, one of my new favorites

Gabs

Life and The Beauty of It.

For those who do not know, one of my greatest interests is photography, and I am very interested in taking some classes towards it at JCC or wherever I end up. I do not have a professional camera yet but thats just another thing I will have to save up for...holler back. Sooo, for now I think I will just sit back and admire the beauty that other people are able to capture until I am able to capture my own. 


Id like to share Anne Geddes.
She is one of my favorite photographers. If you've ever seen those mega cute calendars with the dressed up new born babies, it was probably her work. Her main focus in photography is the miracle of life. She is fascinated by pregnancy and babies and finds them beautiful and inspiring. She also photographs nature and models in relation to nature.
She says, "My own desire is that my imagery will help to create a strong platform of hope and promise for humanity and the future."

Above is a picture of Anne Geddes herself and Lucas, from her collection called A Labor of Love (2007). 

This is one of my favorites that Anne has done. Notice the delicate butterfly wings on the back of the baby. She has done other butterfly photographs as well but I happen to love this one because the baby looks so peaceful. I also love how she added a sort of sepia effect to the photo to make it look more old fashioned and sensitive. The baby also looks soft, as he/she should because a newborns skin is the softest kind ever known.  

Gabs

A Plan in Process

I have this little plan k? Where my life starts to mean something. I dont want this to sound like I want you to pity me or anything, Im just simply stating the fact that for right now, I think my life has hit a slump. Moving in with my grandparents wasnt a mistake, but it wasnt as easy as I thought it would be. There are things I need to do, such as GET A JOB. Thats my number one priority, no matter what job it is I really need to get one that simply puts money in my pocket. At this point, im going job crazy, applying to every place I see that isnt too far. Once I have a job, I can get a car, and I will have transportation to see the people I love, while using extra money for things I want to do and save up for. 
I've been praying of course, like crazy. No answer yet, but im not giving up. I've fought through my whole life for things, and this is just one of those times where you cant give up, and you have to have a little faith. Im pretty sure I got this, but a little help never hurt ;)


Gabs